How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize