At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
4 words: hood of his car
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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