Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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