Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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