She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
