Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
