yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My vagina is officially offended.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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