quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
