Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...

  (623): View more from Arizona

  What did she do!?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I didn't tell her...

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  (602): So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her... (623): What did she do!? (602): I didn't tell her... http://tfl.nu/i351
  Replies (218) Good night (5111) Bad night (24275)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone

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  (480): There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone http://tfl.nu/wpdv
  Replies (38) Good night (557) Bad night (1704) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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  (443): Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help? http://tfl.nu/kek4
  Replies (8) Good night (1122) Bad night (2785) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.

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  (215): There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me. http://tfl.nu/xwbe
  Replies (8) Good night (783) Bad night (3453) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.

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  (541): This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors. http://tfl.nu/qolh
  Replies (27) Good night (5377) Bad night (1131) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.

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  (303): I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more. http://tfl.nu/r5mk
  Replies (6) Good night (6674) Bad night (1426)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.

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  (401): My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog. http://tfl.nu/x3j9
  Replies (8) Good night (3331) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl

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  (662): The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl http://tfl.nu/s3lv
  Replies (7) Good night (2926) Bad night (768)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?

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  (253): So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..? http://tfl.nu/v5ou
  Replies (5) Good night (3230) Bad night (862) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head

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  (908): All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head http://tfl.nu/0vd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1772) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me

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  (408): I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me http://tfl.nu/9m9d
  Replies (1) Good night (1505) Bad night (649)
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  (323): View more from California

  Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!

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  (323): Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end! http://tfl.nu/gq8b
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (614) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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  (864): I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers http://tfl.nu/0wmu
  Replies (5) Good night (1467) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.

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  (859): and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/coqa
  Replies (10) Good night (1414) Bad night (423) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.

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  (507): My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu. http://tfl.nu/j0iq
  Replies (8) Good night (635) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt

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