glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
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Responsibility does not care about your dick.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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