i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
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I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?