Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
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No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.