I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
