Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
