K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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