Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
