Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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