i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
