its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
