Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
