I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
