If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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