Sry I called you an 8
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
