Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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