Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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