I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
