he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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