he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize