I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The power of my boobs compel you
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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