Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
a search helicopter?!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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