So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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