the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't deserve a penis
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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