PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
and she was petting her beer can
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
