She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
