I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
