It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
