There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
