sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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