This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize