We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
