You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
