glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm passing your future prison.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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