I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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