just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I pour the whiskey from now on
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
