Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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