Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
