So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
