The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
