White coat. Heels.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
