im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
