I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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