its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
