He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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