in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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