I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?