i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.