Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately