so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.