I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.