pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!