so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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