It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize