I'm eating all of the evidence.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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