That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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