my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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