Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
