Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if only i could text you this smell
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
