Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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