We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
