this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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