he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
