I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize