Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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